Let’s cut the stupid sentiments right here.
In the first place, it wouldn’t suit my temperament to drag this out for a long time.
The space we soon entered was entirely dark, but the air inside felt light.
We’re not outdoors, so I could only wonder how it’s possible that this kind of darkness and fresh air could coexist in a singular space such as this. Anyway, I decided to brush it off and chalk it up to this space being called the ‘secret library’.
After a few steps, we came across a staircase on the floor leading downwards.
The hand holding mine gripped tightly once, as though afraid that I might miss my footing.
But since the mana lamp was enough to illuminate the area, this was of no concern.
Flicker.
As we moved forward, relying on the mana lamp, we reached a certain point where the candelabras lining up the walls on both sides started automatically lighting up.
The dark space was soon illuminated as brightly as an open garden in broad daylight.
Unable to adjust to the change in light right away, I blinked a few times.
As my eyelids opened and closed, my vision gradually became brighter and clearer.
In time, the scenery before me was revealed in full light.
“…Wow.”
Inadvertently, an expression of admiration spilled through my lips.
I glanced around, enraptured.
We looked to be inside a library building, but it had an unbelievably wide interior.
The floor and the walls were all painted white, and the huge bookshelves that caught my sight first were all jam-packed with books.
There were countless books. So much so that you’d wonder why a knight family had a library like this.
‘Isn’t a library of this magnitude usually owned by mages?’
After all, wasn’t it a mage’s instinct to build enormous libraries on their quest to amass knowledge?
To be honest, I thought the ‘secret library’ would just be a room that’s furnished and equipped to look like one.
Somehow, the sacred relic of this household was a book, so wouldn’t they just need to build a proper library, name it ‘secret library’ and call it a day?
But this…
‘This is just amazing.’
It was too magnificent to think of it as a stand-in.
“This is a historic space that our predecessors have protected for many generations.”
Hearing the voice from my side, I faltered for a moment.
Come to think of it, I came here with the duke.
The library’s magnificence had mesmerized me to the point that I forgot about his presence for a moment. It was just so different from what I was expecting.
Besides that, I even forgot the fact that the duke was still holding my hand.
Staring blankly at our hands, I promptly slipped mine out and nodded.
“It’s incredible.”
Perhaps prompted by my monotonous tone, the duke glanced at my hand and looked away as well.
As he looked around the library, his gaze was sharp.
“I wasn’t expecting for there to be so many books,” I noted.
At this, the duke shook his head.
“It’s all according to God’s will.”
“…God’s will?”
His sharp gaze returned to me.
“Yes, God’s will. As the Book of Aspirations was bestowed to our household, God said, ‘Fill the library with ten books each year. Until the day that the Valentine name shall come to an end.’”
“Ten books each year? Then… There should be at least seven thousand books in this library.”
“It’s around that number, yes. Because of that, there are quite a few overlapping titles.”
With deliberate movements, the duke approached one bookshelf.
I followed him quietly.
Just as he said, the bookshelf in front of us now was lined with overlapping titles.
It looked like the only organizational method in these shelves was to sort the books according to their same titles.
One title commonly had two or up to ten copies.
“…These don’t seem like books that are meant to be read.”
If they’re for reading, there wouldn’t be so many overlapping titles like this.
At the very least, it didn’t seem like the predecessors had checked in advance to see whether the books they brought for the year already existed in the library.
Of course, it wouldn’t be easy to fill a library of seven thousand books if they all had individually unique titles.
This was like…
Quite literally, it seemed as if the main and only purpose was to inflate the quantity of books.
“Right, it’s like a labyrinth.”
“A labyrinth…”
“One that’s designed by God to conceal the sacred relic.”
Suddenly, the books surrounding me felt different.
As I turned my head slowly again, the shelves overflowing with books seemed to sway dizzily in my vision.
Indeed, like a labyrinth for the express purpose of chaos.
“How does the Book of Aspirations make itself known?”
“It’s different every time.”
“How so?”
“It’s said that the book usually appears differently to each chosen individual. There were times when it glowed, times when it gave off a fragrance, times when the book itself would find the person.”
Imagining the last one gave me the chills.
This wasn’t some kind of horror movie, but there’s apparently a book that would seek people out in this world.
“…Does the book choose someone only on the exact day of their coming-of-age?”
“No. Rather, it’s rarer for someone to be chosen on their exact birthday.”
“Well that’s just… The criteria seems so much more elusive.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean there’s no criteria at all.”
“What are they then?”
The duke remained silent for a moment.
He touched the spines of many books.
Like a guide of this labyrinth.
“The most pitiful one. The most miserable one. Or…”
The most sinful one.
The last one he mentioned was something I couldn’t believe. The previous two were already rather strange, but the third was even more so.
The most sinful one, he said.
In other words, that person would be called a ‘sinner’, wouldn’t they?
Why would the wish of a person like that be granted?
As I fell into confused silence, the duke seemed to notice and thus answered with a low voice.
“One of our predecessors described the ‘Book of Aspirations’ like this…”
His words resounded across the silent library.
“That the book doesn’t end with fulfilling wishes. Rather, its purpose is to exact judgment.”
Judgment.
I echoed the singular word under my breath.
“The sacred relic is both God’s grace and God’s retribution.”
The duke spoke calmly.
As though he was merely reciting something he had memorized perfectly.
However, strangely enough, my heart started to ache the moment I heard it.
The shadow of a stranger who I didn’t even know flashed in my head.
With a face that was heavily indecipherable, that person who would have taken God’s sacred relic as a medium of judgment.
Was that person the sinner?
Instead of thinking that that person was the image of God, were they the recipient of God’s judgment?
Was Rosetta meant to be chosen by God’s sacred relic? Or rather, had she been chosen in the past?
Was it grace, or was it retribution.
I looked up blankly.
I was met with the sight of the high ceiling of this underground space.
Slowly closing my eyes, fresh air poured deep into my lungs.
It was refreshing and suffocating at the same time.
Haa.
As I let out a trembling breath, a single tear trickled down from my eyes.
I did not know the reason behind it.
This surge of sadness was sudden, just as how this emotion was incomprehensible.
* * *
Fortunately, the duke did not catch me crying.
No, in the first place, I wasn’t crying enough that I’d get caught.
It started and ended with that first teardrop.
“There are no more explanations left that I can give you. Would you like to look around alone?”
His monotonous voice asked me. He asked just in time.
I wanted to look around thoroughly, but wouldn’t it be too bothersome if there was someone there, watching me?
“Yes, I would like to look around a little more.”
“…You can leave the lamp here. Use it again once you’re ready to come out.”
“Yes, thank you.”
After a single nod as a response, he turned away and headed down the aisle through which we came in earlier.
Rooted where I was, I watched his retreating back.
I saw him off, if only with my gaze.
One step. Two steps.
The moment he was right in front of the open corridor, his large back halted as he stopped in his tracks.
“…Father?”
When I called his name in a quizzical tone, he moved only his head and looked to the side.
As his side profile became visible, it seemed as if his eyes were looking only into the air, but I felt his gaze on me.
After standing there, motionless for a long time, he slowly opened his lips to speak.
“You are one of us— a Valentine.”
As he uttered the name ‘Valentine’, his eyes glinted sharply.
At that moment, I had a feeling that the fiery glare that flashed right then seemed to be reserved for the people who had been talking in hushed whispers about me.
I remained silent, waiting for the words that would follow.
“So, don’t hesitate to use House Valentine for help if you ever find yourself in a difficult situation.”
“……”
“…I’m sorry that I’m saying this only now, Rosetta.”
His words stopped there.
I was so surprised to hear something I was never expecting that I didn’t even know what to say in return.
Out of the blue, I’d been given a vow of protection and a belated apology.
While the duke now said nothing, I was equally quiet as I was speechless.
In the end, only silence stretched between us.
Entrenched in this silence, I could only continue staring at his back.
Soon, those stupid sentiments were once again rekindled.
The same stupid sentiments that swirled within me as I gazed blankly upon our hands a while ago.
Along with Rosetta’s sorrow, I felt my heart being shaken and being filled with a warm feeling at the same time.
Inevitably, I found myself in a situation where everything felt absurd.
It’s all complicated.
I hate complicated things.
It was the duke who first broke the silence.
“Happy… birthday.”
After saying so with a tone of voice so obviously full of concern, his halted steps started anew.
Ta-dak.
Similar to the owner of those footsteps, the resounding echoes they made filled the white interior of the library.
I stayed rooted in that same spot for a long time, only staring at the duke’s retreating back from a distance.
Until he reached the corridor where the darkness gradually hid his figure.
Ta-dak, ta-dak, ta-dak.
I did nothing but stare at the empty space where I could see only darkness. It was only when the sound of his footsteps became inaudible to me that I turned around.
This library, where I was now left alone, felt especially wide.
And for a very brief moment, it truly felt as if I had fallen into an immeasurably vast labyrinth.
Leave a Reply