HM | Chapter 19

Translator: Yonnee



‘Insane…?’

Even after everything, Lucas’ blue eyes showed unyielding tenacity and glinted with a murderous intent.

His expression itself did not change, but the look in his eyes did.

A single glance would make anyone terrified.

Julie gulped dryly, but she persevered and made sure to explain everything in detail.

“Milady is a wonderful person. That is, outside the manor. Every time she goes back home, she’s treated like an insane person. Far from giving her proper treatment, the household head is hellbent on hiding it. In fact, if the Marquis finds out that I have revealed this to you, there’s a high chance that my head would be separated from my neck.”

Tap.

Tap, tap.

Lucas’ index finger tapped on the table.

With his eyes closed, with his other hand clenched into a fist. Just tapping the table.

The very moment Jaime saw him like this, he instinctively knew how grave the situation was.

‘He’s trying to hold it in.’

Lucas Blacke was good at controlling a greater part of his animosity.

It helped that there were very few people who would make him angry, perhaps because of his strong outward impression.

Even so, he wasn’t the kind of man who’d become entirely furious about just anything.

But seeing him in his current state now, it’s different.

Jaime and Gabriel exchanged a silent look.

This singular glance was enough to know that they knew the duke’s shift in mood.

“Marquis Kafrenn O’Ellin’s reputation seems to have been founded on only falsehoods. Otherwise, how could a supposedly respectable man be so small-minded?”

Lucas’ answering voice was low.

“For understanding Milady’s circumstances, thank you very much. Although she has such a phobia, I assure you, by no means is she weak or foolish. She is a truly brave young woman who tries her hardest to overcome her weaknesses.”

Nervously glancing in the direction where Grace disappeared, Julie continued to speak as she took a step backward.

“Your Excellency will know if you watch her and stay by her side. That she is sincerely a good person. She is an admirable woman. Please, I implore you. Do not miss this opportunity. Then, Your Excellency, I will go to Milady.”

After Julie defended Grace until the very end, she rushed away to find her master.

Left alone, Lucas slumped back into his seat, one hand wrapped over his forehead.

“…Milord, it’s my fault. I should have prepared a lamb steak, not the bison dish.”

“It’s not your fault, Cote. It’s the dish that I asked for. And you prepared it diligently for two days and two nights in accordance with my command.”

“But, sir…”

“Before anything, can you clean this up and prepare another dish, one that’s soft? And perhaps she will need a drink to calm her stomach if it’s upset.”

“Ah, yes! Of course, Milord. Will do! I’ll hurry up and get it ready.”

Carrying the skewered bison dish along with him, Cote rushed away at once.

The dinner, which he thought was perfect, was completely ruined.

While trying to pull down his suffocating tie, Lucas suddenly touched the soft cloth tucked into his chest pocket.

 

“I drew something on it myself. It may just be a small piece of cloth, but it is all that I can offer to Your Excellency right now.”

 

Flashing through his mind, he recalled Grace’s apologetic expression as she said that she couldn’t prepare a gift in return for his invitation to dinner.

When she said, ‘It is all that I can offer,’ he recalled her soft touch and her shy smile as she arranged the pocket square awkwardly.

And right then, he also recalled her face when she had run out even while she was dressed only in her flimsy nightgown—when she grabbed his arm and apologized on behalf of her father for the rudeness that he had shown.

Each memory was like a heavy hammer on one corner of Lucas’ heart.

The pit of his stomach felt so stifled that it became increasingly difficult for him to breathe.

Even despite the side of her that couldn’t hide how much she liked someone, she was so pure and innocent.

But the parent of such a gentle person as her was abusing her behind closed doors!

Lucas clenched his fist unconsciously.

He thought about how much she must have endured under the marquis’ neglect and verbal abuse, and this urged something to boil within him.

‘Towards such a kind-hearted woman. That man, towards his own daughter…’

Lucas carefully held Grace’s handkerchief. The cloth was soft between his fingers.

He folded it back to how it was before, then placed it into his suit jacket’s inner pocket.

“…I didn’t think that an esteemed lady from a marquisate would be abused like that. Then, was Her Ladyship’s cheek like that because of the Marquis?”

Jaime was still looking at the direction where Julie disappeared off to, and he muttered absentmindedly as though he couldn’t believe it.

Lucas was rubbing his forehead now, but hearing this, he stopped.

“What did you say, Jaime?”

“What? Oh, I said that I didn’t think that an esteemed lady from a marquisate would be…”

“No. After that.”

“Aft… ah.”

Only then did Jaime realize his slip of the tongue. He quickly stopped talking.

Jaime seemed to be walking on eggshells around Lucas, but Lucas narrowed his eyes and pressed the aide.

“Speak.”

“It’s, um… I mean, uh, you didn’t notice it, Your Excellency?”

“What exactly did I not notice?”

Goodness.

Jaime forgot that the man before him was less observant than he actually thought.

No, rather, his observational skills were situationally bereft in a way that was characteristic only to him.

Jaime thought that he noticed it, but he didn’t.

“Jaime. You know that I’m in no mood for jokes.”

Lucas sat back languidly, glancing down at Jaime with a straightforward gaze.

Lucas Blacke would tend to act in a more relaxed manner whenever he was holding back his emotions.

It’s impossible for Jaime not to know that.

Gulp.

Barely managing to gulp, Jaime feigned ignorance.

In any case, there wasn’t just one or two instances when his mouth had rambled on by itself.

“I’m not sure myself, so I didn’t say anything. But now that we’ve heard from Julie, I think my hunch was right.”

“Don’t beat around the bush and just tell it to me straight.”

“You really didn’t see it, Your Excellency? How could you not when you were so close together like that? No matter how unobservant you are, how…”

Lucas scowled at Jaime.

And Jaime immediately shut up.

The murderous intent in those eyes was real.

“I believe it’s been a long time since you’ve tasted a kick from the hind leg…”

At that moment, Jaime spoke without any more delay.

“Didn’t you notice that Lady Grace’s cheek was swollen?”

“…What?”

“With her makeup removed, I think that she probably even has a bruise now. She has such a small face that it was clearly obvious that one cheek was swollen.”

As Lucas hesitated, he asked back with a stiff expression.

“…Are you certain?”

With his nervousness apparent on his expression, Jaime nodded vigorously.

This was because he could see that the eyes of his master had changed significantly.

Lucas languidly rose from his seat.

“This is preposterous.”

Like a wild animal that was unfurling to its fullest form, the atmosphere around him began to grow slowly, gradually.

Nervously, Jaime nodded again.

“I agree. And now that I think about it, one of Julie’s cheeks is a bit swollen as well. It’s certainly strange that Her Ladyship and her maid have equally swollen cheeks, and on the same side as well.”

CRACK!

It was the sound of something breaking.

…Beneath Lucas’ fist.

Trails of red were left on the fist that had hit the stone column.

At the same time, parts of the stone column that had been in contact with his fist started to fall to the ground.

“Ack! Y-Your hand!”

“Milord!”

Surprised, both Jaime and Gabriel ran to him frantically.

The blood-soaked fist looked exceedingly painful, but Lucas remained calm.

He looked at the red fist with an expressionless face.

Jaime had no talent for reading other people’s minds, but right now, it’s as if he could guess what Lucas Blacke’s eyes were saying loud and clear.

“…Y-Your Excellency. D-Despite everything, you know that you can’t assault anyone, right?”

“Why.”

Ah, no, our dear master.

You know why, so please don’t joke about this. Ha… hahaha.

Jaime forced himself to smile, then soon averted his gaze from Lucas’ merciless blue eyes.

‘Red alert! Red alert!’

Unlike Lucas Blacke’s outward appearance, he’s actually quite gentle. However, when he’s really angry, he becomes absolutely inconsolable.

What Lucas Blacke values the most was ‘family’.

And his family was his domain.

He defended his domain with all his might. This was one of the iron rules that Lucas Blacke—no, House Blacke, of the black stallions—upheld without fail.

“P-Please calm down, Your Excellency!”

Still, Lucas’ fury was something that Jaime needed to stop.

If Lucas were to be angrier than expected, then something that shouldn’t happen just might.

“Are you. telling me to rein in. my temper…? Huu!”

“Please calm down! Wouldn’t it be better to figure out the exact situation first? It’s certain that the Lady’s cheek is swollen, but actually, we’re still not sure whether it was Marquis O’Ellin’s handiwork.”

“If it’s not him, then who would ever dare to lay a hand on the face of a marquisate’s esteemed daughter? And her maid as well?”

When asked, Jaime didn’t know what to answer either.

Still, he couldn’t let Lucas’ anger go out of hand here.

However, at that moment.

“…I apologize. I was rude.”

After she had composed herself, Grace returned to the garden, smiling awkwardly.

 

* * *

 

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’

Grace didn’t know how to face Lucas again, especially since his gaze had been so intense since a while earlier.

‘Perhaps… you’re curious about my phobia?’

When Julie followed Grace earlier, she apologized immensely and admitted that she divulged her phobia to Lucas Blacke.

But this didn’t really matter to Grace.

The atmosphere was nothing but pleasant earlier, but it was completely destroyed once the iron skewers were brought out. To some extent, it could be considered that Grace had laid everything bare at that very moment.

Rather, the fact that her phobia was divulged was a good thing.

This might be a good enough reason to break up their imminent marriage.

‘…But why do I feel uncomfortable with that.’

Feeling perplexed, Grace thoughtfully ate a spoonful of the cream-like dish that was served to her. It was made with meat that’s been cut into very small pieces.

Unlike the first day they met, when she thought that she absolutely couldn’t marry him at all, right now, she felt a bit vague about the idea of canceling their marriage.

“Is the food not to your taste?”

“Hm? Oh, no. It’s very delicious. I would like to apologize to Cote-amont… I wasn’t able to eat the dish that he had prepared so sincerely.”

“That’s quite alright. There are thousands of other dishes that he can cook well apart from that. I’m sure you won’t be able to taste all of them even if he cooks them for you for the rest of your life.”

His remark subtly expressed how much he believed in Cote-amont.

What a mystifying man.

Most aristocrats treated foreigners with discomfort or prejudice, but that didn’t seem to be the case for Lucas.

Likewise, even after he found out about her phobia, he was still ever so gentle with her.

‘You must have a lot of questions right now, but why aren’t you asking me any?’

The moment she looked up at Lucas, their eyes met.

Ba-dump— For a moment, Grace felt like something in her chest thumped.

Grace bit her lower lip slightly, and she pressed down on her hand, which was trembling minutely.

As Lucas was still looking at her, he eventually set down his fork and knife as if he couldn’t stand it any longer.

His voice more subdued now, he asked.

“May I ask, does Marquis O’Ellin treat you badly?”

“That… What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

Grace’s eyes went wide after she heard Lucas’ out-of-the-blue question.

She was surprised to hear her father’s name here and now. She was expecting him to ask about her phobia instead.

Lucas gazed back at Grace with a rarely seen tender smile.

“Your cheek.”

“……”

“I’d like to know whether it was the Marquis who made your cheek like that.”

Jolt.

Lucas was obviously smiling, and he was speaking as softly as ever. But still, a strange chill came up in the air.

It wasn’t directed at her, that’s for sure.

But Grace felt strange.

This man, Lucas Blacke.

Why did he keep trying to be part of her life?

‘…Does he… Does he truly like me?’

When this thought passed through her mind, her heart began to throb even more.

It was different from the palpitations she had felt when she saw the iron skewers earlier.

Grace took even breaths to calm herself, and she took a sip from her glass of lukewarm water.

Then, looking straight into Lucas’ eyes, she answered.

“No. At the very least, Father never laid a hand on me directly.”

Lucas’ brows crumpled at once.

“Then who in the world did it?”

Staring at him, Grace’s lips moved slightly.

“My older brother.”

Lucas grimaced.

Then it’s not just the marquis who’s behind the abuse?

“…You mean Norman O’Ellin?”

When Norman’s name was mentioned, Grace merely smiled. She did not deny it.

Somehow, this tranquil smile ignited Lucas’ heart even more.

It had been a long time since such a surge of emotions had passed through Lucas’ heart.

But he was a man whose emotions should never fluctuate.

He mustn’t…

Lucas closed his eyes tightly shut. He focused on regulating his breathing. Endure a little longer.

He must endure.

‘…God damn it, why must I hold it in?’

He menacingly clenched his hands into fists, but he still tried to control himself.

Griiip.

Sitting just a short distance away, Grace also saw his huge fists with angry, bulging veins.

Besides that, he was also gritting his teeth as if he was trying to endure.

‘Lucas Blacke.’

Unable to understand why he’s reacting in this way, Grace slowly lowered her gaze.

‘You’re truly so strange.’

He was being angry for her, even if it was nothing he should be concerned about.

…When had there ever been anyone who’s been so angry for her?

There was nothing between them.

And yet, he was responding to the injustices she had faced as if they were his own.

…And why was her heart pounding so much. Why. Why?

‘No. I mustn’t be swayed.’

Trying her hardest to control her racing heart, Grace calmly opened her lips to speak.

‘It’s something I had already decided to do.’

She knew that it was time to broach the subject, which she had been preparing for until now.

“Since it’s come to this now, Your Excellency, I will be honest with you.”

“Speak freely, Grace.”

“It is a fact that I’m not good enough to be your wife. As you have witnessed it, I am beset with a phobia. I am flawed, and I’m someone who needs help, that’s why I can never be good enough.”

“Please continue.”

“…Besides that, it’s not how it seems on the outside. I am not loved by my family, and my family might cause you trouble one day.”

Truthfully, Grace hated that she had to talk about this.

She was speaking under the guise of calmness, but how could she not know just how pathetic her own circumstances were?

‘…To be honest, I’m nothing but a cowardly, stubborn woman.’

She didn’t have the courage to marry someone who she’s frightened of, and at the same time, she didn’t want to be sold off in a marriage that would greatly benefit her father and older brother.

That’s why she’d been stubbornly deadest on breaking up the marriage between her and Lucas.

And apart from that, she thought that it was only right to cancel this marriage for each of their individual happiness.

“Grace.”

But, strangely enough, he kept making her waver.

“If help is what you need, then it is what you shall receive.”

This man, even as he was frightening, whispered such sweet words.

“If you have yet to receive love, I’d rather think about it positively.”

“…Your Excellency.”

“The love that you have never received before…”

Unlike the sharp glare of his eyes, as he spoke of love with such a soft voice—

“As much as you want, I will give it to you.”

—this man swayed her so.

 

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2 responses to “HM | Chapter 19”

  1. capulette Avatar
    capulette

    Lucas has to be the loveliest man to ever be written. And are Julie and Jaime the best supporting characters or what?! I love that they actually speak up and actively help to prevent misunderstandings 🩷
    Compared to how needlessly frustrating other romance novels are, this seriously healed me – I cried while reading this chapter (tbh a few earlier ones too) 😭

  2. Usurpadora Avatar
    Usurpadora

    Como pode? Esse homem ser tão fofo? Ele é tão sensível em relação a sua noiva, e está dizendo as palavras certas a ela😭💗

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