Subliminal Wayfarer

“Did something happen about four days ago?”

“Four days ago?”

Prompted by Diana’s question, Rosetta slowly retraced her steps to four days prior.

 

“I wish to marry him.”

 

Come to think of it, it seemed like the almost announcement-like conversation about marriage had happened about five days ago.

‘The timing matches perfectly, doesn’t it?’

Yet, the connection between her marriage and her being investigated remained unclear.

And to be told to find out what she likes and dislikes? The purpose of this peculiar investigation was—

‘…Could it be?’

A thought crossed Rosetta’s mind as she pondered deeply.

 

“If it’s what you want, Sister, I’ll support and cheer for you. Even if Father opposes it!”

 

Could it really be that, as Alicia had said, their father was employing tactics to prevent the marriage?

‘If he’s investigating my likes and dislikes with the intention to find a weakness or to persuade me…’

She hoped that wasn’t the reason.

She was just beginning to accept her ‘real’ family. If her father really was orchestrating this for such purposes, she’d be quite disappointed.

More than anything, it would be futile.

No matter what her father did, her decision to marry Cassion would not change.

After all, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime journey.

Not someone else’s life, but her real life.

Thus, wouldn’t it be right to marry the person she loved, have children, and live a bit more ordinarily?

It seemed she needed to have a talk with her father.

 

* * *

 

“What do you think, Father?”

“About what?”

“About Rosetta’s marr… Rosetta’s matter. It seems you’re having the servants investigate her….”

At Damian’s question, the duke coughed and averted his eyes.

“It’s nothing of concern.”

“It’s all because of the talks of marriage, isn’t it?”

“……”

“Are you planning to interfere? Because you don’t want her to marry?”

“What nonsense!”

Caught off guard by the probing question, the duke who had remained silent, suddenly retorted.

Such a passionate reaction was unprecedented.

Since the time when their mother was still alive, he hadn’t seen such an emotional display.

Of course, there had been emotional reactions when Rosetta was almost taken away by the imperial knights or when she had been nearly entangled in baseless scandals.

“Then why are you doing this?”

“…I wanted to atone for my wrongdoings, even now.”

His reply came out deflated, mixed with a sigh. This time, Damian found himself at a loss for words.

Wrongdoings.

He understood all too well what that meant.

He, too, had accumulated many wrongdoings towards Rosetta.

‘So, that’s it.’

Their father didn’t intend to hinder Rosetta’s marriage.

No, perhaps he felt he had no right to do so.

The moment Rosetta brought up marriage five days ago, Damian had the same thought.

Therefore, instead of voicing opposition to Rosetta’s marriage, he chose to do what he could instead.

Damian could see how their father now wanted to do his best for Rosetta before she got married.

Yet, their father didn’t know how to do that.

He didn’t know how to treat Rosetta well, nor how to make her happy.

Starting with what she likes or dislikes, he would need to know before he could decide how to act, but his ignorance meant he had nothing to go on, thus he assigned the task of investigating her to the maids and servants.

The sad part was, Damian himself also knew nothing about Rosetta.

“Why not just open up to Rosetta? Apologize for the past and say you want to be a proper parent from now on.”

“Damian.”

“Yes, Father?”

“Do you think you of all people should say that to me?”

The duke’s mouth twitched into a smirk, but it quickly fell as he seriously questioned his son.

“I don’t have the right.”

“That’s cowardly, Father!”

Cowardly.

Though it was strong language for a child to use towards their parent, it wasn’t wrong.

The duke, once again, found himself unable to respond, his mouth firmly shut, then opened belatedly as he realized that the exclamation had come from behind him.

This voice…

“…Alicia?”

Why was she here?

Alicia, peeking over the windowsill, nodded in greeting.

“I was passing by and heard talking. I couldn’t just walk by when it seemed like you were talking about Sister. Please forgive my intrusion, Father.”

With her golden eyes flashing intensely, the duke found himself nodding in agreement without realizing it. Was she always this forthright?

“Anyway, Father! That thought seems cowardly…! Ah.”

With a sigh, Alicia’s hand gripped the windowsill tightly. Her face trembled, then disappeared below the window only to pop back up suddenly. Ah, considering Alicia’s height, the window must have been too high. She must have been standing on tiptoe.

The duke sighed and stood up, heading towards where Alicia was.

“Father?”

Instead of responding, the duke effortlessly jumped over the window. Damian and Alicia, both startled, watched him.

Without any fuss, the duke dusted off his clothes and helped Alicia over the window.

“H-Huh?”

Caught off guard by the unexpected aid, Alicia clumsily made her way over the window. Following her, the duke also easily jumped back inside.

Good heavens.

Their father was hopping through windows.

Shocked by the fresh surprise, the two children watched as the duke returned to his seat.

“Alicia, come sit down too.”

“Ah, yes!”

Alicia briskly nodded and took her seat. Damian’s concerned gaze was felt but ignored.

She was no longer a crybaby.

Though her sister kept calling her one, that was a thing of the past.

She realized that if she wanted to move forward for the people she cherished, she needed something other than tears.

Of course, there were tears that unknowingly streamed down her face sometimes.

Alicia clenched her small fists tightly and took a deep breath.

Facing her father with words of cowardice felt like her heart was pounding, committing a great disrespect, but…

“This is for your sake, Father.”

Having accidentally learned the truth about her father’s feelings, she didn’t want to just stand by.

“Father. Forgiveness isn’t something you wait to receive from the other person. You need to reach out and ask for it yourself. It’s not you who decides if you’re worthy, Father, it’s Sister. And for that, you need to extend your hand first and show your sincerity. Staying in the background, thinking you’re not worthy… I think that’s cowardly.”

Alicia’s face turned bright red as she finished speaking. She had blurted out her words without taking a breath. However, her eyes remained clear and sharp.

“…You’ve grown up a lot, Alicia.”

“Of course. I’ve been an adult for a while now.”

Responding with a tilt of her head, Alicia saw the duke’s gaze drift into the distance.

“Yes, that’s right.”

Before he knew it, his children had grown so much.

Without his help, they had become far braver than he, a cowardly man, could ever hope to be.

The duke felt a pang of regret.

He should have watched their growth more closely.

 

“Watching our children grow up is one of the most joyful and proud moments, isn’t it? You feel the same, don’t you?”

 

Watching their growth was something Lillian had dearly wished for.

Despite being capable, he had turned away and lost that opportunity.

Foolishly, cowardly.

He slowly looked at Damian and Alicia. His grown children stood tall, gazing back at him.

“Alicia. Damian.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Yes.”

As his children responded immediately, the duke slowly bowed his head.

“I’ve committed many sins against you two as well… I’m truly sorry.”

Their father’s trembling voice, unusual for him, led Alicia and Damian to exchange silent glances, filled with complex thoughts.

An apology from their father.

The not-so-short past flashed before them like a fast-forwarding lantern.

Yes, it was lonely.

Incredibly lonely.

There were many times when having a father felt lonelier than not having one at all.

They thought they were indifferent, but upon receiving an apology, a sense of sorrow welled up.

So…

“I won’t forgive you quickly. So, you’ll have to ask for forgiveness for a long time, Father, right?”

At Alicia’s response, the duke clenched his teeth. Once again, the painful regret neglecting his children while lost in his own grief struck him acutely.